Imaginary Windows

 

window

He explained he loved her more,
Discarding me once it became too difficult.
That’s the trouble with falling in love
with a man who belongs to someone already.
Tends to get very messy when the owner
demands you remove yourself immediately.
A heart that never belonged with yours.
A home that was only a creation in your mind.
Future plans and curtains hung on imaginary windows.

At first the self loathing is all you have,
until the reality sets in that he held fault as well.
He told me how special I am, so beautiful,
smart, funny, and all of those bouncy charms
winning me over until my senses clouded.
It could be mine.
It might even be love.

Once it’s not,
once the pain sears at you
with that final call of goodbye.
Nothing follows.
Weeks of silence stretches into months.
and suddenly those simple reminders become epic.
Turn off the song you shared
during one long summer night.
Change that perfume you once
spritzed in a note to him.
Letters, cards, and trinkets scatter
when thrown in frustration.

He’s fine, she’s fine, they’re fine.
Without me.
Like it never even happened.
Perhaps I didn’t exist to him.
This perfect creature he never really knew,
really live and love beside as
his spun stories led one to believe.

Sipping my coffee
staring out into the streets of busy days.
Learning to breath again.

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